It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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