This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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