D3 body, D1 cock
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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