He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
