plz talk dirty to me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
