My liver just broke up with me...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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