i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
