ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
