Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
