Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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