Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
