please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
