arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
