If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
