so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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