Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
