hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
