she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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