o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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