ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
well you can't waste a boner
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize