I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
