i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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