I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize