I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize