oh god the rape fog is back!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
