Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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