idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
