i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he was CRYING into my vagina
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
