You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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