Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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