I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
