Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
