Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
