He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
