shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
That accounts for only three of the penises
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
