I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
