Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
