She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
