I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
