I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
