Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
