bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
