I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
