Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
