You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize