Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Randomize
