Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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