these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
