yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
