You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
