Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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