I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
