VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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