Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize