the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
