Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
