Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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