I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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