How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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