Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
