He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
