I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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