If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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